Momentum, Stalled

Two visits to the old lady now (let's call her S). Four to the woman with Asperger's (and her, H). The work is starting to have a shape to it... I walk in with a plan instead of just winging it.

The relationships are easing into something. In my diary, it's not even "Mable" or "Support Work" anymore. It's "Mondays, S @ 10.30. Tuesdays, H @ 10."

Repeat clients are their own kind of comfort. In any line of work.

You stop bracing for the unknown and start just doing the work.

The company that actually hired me, though... still no buddy shift. Which means, on paper, I still haven't started with them. Three weeks until my Cert 3 kicks in. Question is whether I spend that gap twiddling my thumbs or actually doing something.

I'd eased off Mable when they said, "We're actively looking into your buddy shift. We have the client(s) lined up too!"

The buddy shift that they penciled in at my induction got cancelled as the client had a doctor's appointment.

Then, silence.

You know the silence. It doesn't announce itself... it just slowly becomes the new norm... and everyone conveniently forgets.

So I'm grinding away on Mable, applying to jobs.

Here's the lesson, and it's not a new one.

I just keep forgetting it.

Never bet on one thing while ignoring everything else, especially when you have zero control over whether that thing will actually come into fruition.

You're better off drowning in options and having the annoying problem of choosing between them, than latching on to one thing pretending it'll work out.

I did this exact thing in corporate job hunting. Land an interview, ease off applying elsewhere... "let's see how this one plays out, looks promising". Mostly never worked out. And I'd lose a week of momentum I couldn't get back.

So here's where I'm at. I feel like I'm swimming in peanut butter. I'm grateful for two clients who've come to trust me, who value what I bring into their homes.

But I can't skip the math.

They can pull the plug tomorrow.

Health changes. NDIS funding changes.

All beyond my control.

It's a form of redundancy dressed in a nicer outfit.

Doesn't matter how good you are at the job. A lot of times, it's never about that.

Game face on.